Knocked up on my lunch hour?

Friday we did the Intrauterine Insemination procedure. I totally did this thing on my lunch hour at work.  Brian went to the fertility center at 9:30 am to give his contribution, and I left my office at 11:00 am to go do my part.  It was literally anti-climactic and I was out of there by noon.  Gives a whole new meaning to "afternoon delight".  I mean, we tried to make a baby and all, but i sure left that office feeling a bit unsatisfied!  And let's not even talk about the lack of cuddling afterwards.  They cuddled with my check book, but that was about it.  

I really didn't know what to expect, but it was pretty quick and painless. After having this turkey baster idea in my head for a while, i was pleasantly surprised to discover that the method for inserting the baby making juice is a very thin tube with a syringe on the end of it. They brought the sperm in and made Brian check the specimen tube...to make sure it was the one he wrote his name on after contributing it.  Thank goodness for quality control measures. I work in healthcare, so I know mistakes happen. That's a mistake you don't want to have to deal with later! 5 seconds to insert juice, 20 minutes to lay there with my knee's up. They even had an egg timer in the room to make sure I "cooked" for the entire 20 minutes. 

So now we wait...again.  I go in for a blood draw on Wednesday to have my progesterone level checked. Then I go back in a week from this coming Friday for the official pregnancy test.  I would be utterly shocked if that test came back negative. There's definitely a possibility that it might, I mean, I guess all three big fat beefy clomid-induced follicles they counted in my ovaries could end up either not releasing the egg they are supposed to be housing, or maybe they could release them and, for some reason, the eggs might just not match up with the sperm. Who knows. There are so many scenario's that keep going through my mind, and I know I just need to focus on the most positive scenario, which is that 2 of those beautiful eggs will be fertilized and turn into a little baby boy and a little baby girl.  

Church was wonderful this morning. The message was on codependency. Does the fact that I didn't think I was at all co-dependent, when in reality I do favor a few of those characteristics, actually make me more co-dependent? How about clueless?  Maybe clueless applies the best. Brian and I both had a few "a-ha" moments this morning, which was great. I'm starting to feel more connected to my church routine on Sunday mornings, more so than I've ever been...in my entire 37 years of existence. Which feels wonderful.  I really enjoy Southern Hills Baptist Church. And we aren't Southern Baptist, more like contemporary Baptist. (Southern Hills is just the area of town.) I love our pastor, I love our music director and the music they play and we sing, and I love the size of the congregation. I love that you can dress casual or you can dress dressy. I love that they have a coffee bar. And most importantly, I love the messages. My inner self and inner happiness grows a bit more with each Sunday I attend. My goal this year is to make at least one set of "couple friends" with some fellow church go'ers. I think in order to do this I'm going to have to work harder at convincing Brian to go to a Sunday morning Life Group (Sunday School) with me.  He's not too hip on the Sunday School part of Church, just the Church sermon part. Which doesn't bother me (if I let that bother me, that would be codependency), and I really shouldn't let the fact that he doesn't want to go affect my decision about going (that would be co-dependency), but I do.  If I go, I want him to go with me. What's wrong with that?  Okay, maybe I should lead by example, get up an hour early, go to Life Group on my own and just see if he comes around on his own after he hears about how much I enjoy it. That would be the ultimate example of non-codependency, wouldn't you say?  I'll keep you posted on this initiative. I'm blogging about this to keep myself accountable. I could very easily keep it to myself and not attempt to fulfill my goal, then make up some silly excuse to tell myself to make myself feel better about not attempting to accomplish something that would be very easy to accomplish. 

Right now, this very minute, I feel like being codependent. I'm going to have an evening of ice cream codependency. I will feel much better about eating a small bowl of Blue Bell Southern Blackberry Cobbler ice cream if Brian has a bowl with me. And if he chooses not to have a bowl with me, not only will that make me feel guilty for having one, but I will be inclined to make him feel guilty for not having one.   :-)    However, if I know my husband, and I know my husband, he'll have one, as we share some of these codependency traits.