Week 36... Checking Cervix and Shopping Meltdowns

My doctor is starting to see me weekly now and I love it. Just makes me more aware that we are getting closer to delivery.  She checked my cervix, which was a very uncomfortable experience....okay, it was downright painful. I don't know why I was expecting it not to be, for some reason I thought it would equate to the uncomfortableness of a normal annual exam. I was wrong.  Too much stuff going on down there I guess, and just add a physicians prodding and walla...owwwwwwwwe!

The message was clear from the doctor, Rylie isn't ready yet.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. I know I'm 4 weeks from my due date and all, but I'm just so anxious to meet her, I hope she comes early.

She said she'd check me again in another week and we'll see how I look then.  I'm up to 203 pounds. I've gained a total of 48 pounds so far. Yes, I passed the 200 mark. I told myself I wasn't going to do that.  And if I would have laid off the Taco Bueno and the Ben & Jerry's a few times I probably would have met my goal. But there is NO better excuse in the book for eating whatever you want, whenever you want, than pregnancy. Why not enjoy it all I want, right?  I know once I have Rylie, I'll start running again and the weight will come off.  (Note to self...make sure you start running again after Rylie is born!)

I had a shopping meltdown this week. It wasn't pretty! I've been purposely avoiding any types of department stores or clothing stores that I enjoy shopping at because I WILL and HAVE self inflicted some pain by actually trying on non-maternity clothes while pregnant.  Self inflicted emotional mutilation is pretty pathetic, and I know this, so I've been trying to avoid putting myself in the environment all together. Unfortunately, AND fortunately, I have a twin sister who likes to shop as much as I do. SHE, however, is not packing on an additional 48 lb's, with a massive amount of swelling in her legs and feet. She bought a new pair of shoes.  SHE BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!!!!  And she showed them to me. Mistake.  These aren't your basic boring shoes, they were a hot pair of high heeled wedge sandals with braided straps that cross the foot and wrap the ankle.  Do you think they'd still be available after I deliver and lose this swelling?...absolutely not.  Hello.  So off I go to Macy's.  Alone, vulnerable, and 8 months pregnant.  Mistake. These spiral cut hams that I'm calling feet right now aren't in any position to try on shoes and I've been hearing story after story from women who say their feet grew and entire half size following the birth of their baby. A permanent half size. WHAT???   You mean ALL my current shoes are now going to be too small?  WHAT??? You mean I may have to consider buying these new shoes in a half size larger as opposed to my wonderfully true size 8?  WHAT???  And I couldn't try them on.  I probably couldn't shove these hams into Micheal Jordans sneakers right now.  Poor little piggy's.  So what's a girl to do?  If I buy them too big and my feet don't change size, I'm stuck with hot shoes that don't fit right. but if I buy them normal size and my feet do grow, I'm stuck with shoes that are too small.  I'm telling you, it's true what they say, you DO lose some ability for normal, rational brain function when you are pregnant. I agonized over this half size shoe decision.  Seriously, it was painful.  So I did the only thing i thought to do. I texted all my girlfriends who have had kids within the last couple of years and took a poll.  Thank goodness for modern technology.  Right there in Macy's as I was agonizing over my decision, the results came in immediately.  Thank you girls!!!  My decision was made so much easier.  The majority ruled and I ended up buying............................. size 8.   :)   And I cant wait to wear them!